The Muppet Show
Linden01
Guest Hal Linden
Production July 8-10, 1980
Premiere UK: January 11, 1981
US: February 7, 1981

(TRANSCRIPT)

Statler and Waldorf get their chance to do a better show than Kermit--they play host, while Kermit and Fozzie watch from the balcony. Unfortunately, Statler and Waldorf's acts don't turn out exactly as they plan.

The Berlin National Opera Company, who were going to perform the first act finale from Siegfried, can't make it on time, so the Salzburg Sauerkraut Singers have been sent in. Statler and Waldorf didn't agree beforehand on which holiday Hal should do a tribute to, so Hal's Fourth of July number is invaded by Gonzo singing Christmas songs from a chicken-drawn sleigh. Plus, Miss Piggy sings "Just an Old-Fashioned Girl," instead of the star from India, Indira Mahashira. Finally, Statler and Waldorf admit that the show is harder to put together than it looks and happily go back to complaining from the balcony.

Songs/Sketches

Episode

Picture Description
TMS517-01
Cold Open: Hal Linden introduces himself to Pops in reception and says he plays Barney Miller on TV. Pops claims the name hit him like a ton of bricks; after which a ton of bricks hit him on the head. Hal compliments him on his visual comedy bit, but warns him not to let it go to his head.
TMS517.horn
"The Muppet Show Theme": Gonzo goes to blow his trumpet, but finds that he's holding a banana who turns around in terror.
Box-517
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear address the audience from Statler and Waldorf's Box and explain that "the two old gentlemen who usually sit up here" will be running the show tonight.
TMS517-03
On stage, Statler and Waldorf are greeted by Hal Linden who waves to Kermit sitting up in the box seats. Fozzie sends back his own salutations, but Hal returns the gesture mistaking him for Rowlf the Dog. When Statler explains that Fozzie is the bear that tells bad jokes and dies on stage, Hal corrects himself. Given the association, Fozzie prefers Hal to continue thinking he's Rowlf and vows to begin piano lessons tomorrow.
Tms517geriatric
Geri and the Atrics sing "Who Put the Bomp (in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp)". Kermit loves the number while Fozzie comments that it's the kind of act his friend would have booked. Kermit wonders if Statler and Waldorf made a mistake.
TMS517-05
Backstage, Geri and the Atrics give Statler and Waldorf grief for not being "with it" and Gonzo prepares to perform Mozart with a pineapple. Statler and Waldorf prepare to instead announce the Berlin National Opera Company, but the Salzburg Sauerkraut Singers show up in their place.
DrinkingSong
The Salzburg Sauerkraut Singers perform "Drinking Song" with plates full of sauerkraut. Gonzo worries that quality acts like that ruin his own chances at getting on stage.
TMS517-06
Backstage, Link Hogthrob works himself up into hysterics over everyone's act getting cancelled. Piggy slaps his face and tells him to grow up because it's only for one show. Link in turn tells Hal that his act has been cancelled, using the same reasoning to calm the guest star down. Waldorf tells him he is in fact going on, but Statler says he can't until the sauerkraut is cleaned up off the floor. Beauregard informs them that the sauerkraut's gone, but now they can't decide if the next act is a medley of 4th of July or Christmas songs.
Medley.holidays
Chaos ensues when a battle of songs from two holidays compete against each other in a musical medley surrounded by fireworks and snowfall.
TMS517.UKspot-1
UK Spot: Two Whatnots sing "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" with a pack of dogs at a British street market. Fozzie is surprised at how good it was. Kermit: "I don't miss me at all."
TMSruledtheworld
In the Guest Star's Dressing Room, Hal attempts to console Robin the Frog whose number has been cancelled. Robin says things would be different if he ran things and the two sing "If I Ruled the World" as a duet. At the end, Gonzo enters and says that if he ran the world, clothing would be edible.
TMS517.oldfashioned
Statler and Waldorf introduce Indira Mahajira to sing a medley of "Urdu ditties", but it's Miss Piggy who takes the stage and sings "Just an Old Fashioned Girl" surrounded by Butch and the Prairie Dogs. Kermit compliments her from the box seats and she blows him a kiss.
TMS517-10
Backstage, Statler and Waldorf tell Beauregard to do something useful, so he tests the backstage trap door releases. Waldorf falls through one of them and instructs him not to test those anymore, so Beauregard tests the onstage trap door releases.
TMS517-11
Hal and The Electric Mayhem perform "When the Saints Go Marching In". They're picked off one by one as Beauregard continues to test the trap doors.
TMS517-12
Kermit and Fozzie return to the stage to say goodnight. Hal is slightly disheveled by all the confusion and chaos, but Fozzie assures him that it was just like any other Muppet Show. Waldorf says he's going back to the box seats and Statler promises never to say anything bad about the show again. After the closing number, the pair criticize the theme music, while Kermit reminds them of their promise.

Cast

Muppets:

Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Statler and Waldorf, Pops, Miss Piggy, Link Hogthrob, Gonzo, Chickens, Penguins, Geri and the Atrics, Salzburg Sauerkraut Singers, Butch, Prairie Dogs, Whatnots, Beauregard, Robin the Frog, Dr. Teeth, Animal, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Lips

Background Muppets:

Baskerville, Afghan Hound, Brown Dog, Wolfhound, Mutt, The Swedish Chef

Performers

Jim Henson as Kermit the Frog, Waldorf, Link Hogthrob and Dr. Teeth
Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Animal, Atrics piano player and Salsburg Sauerkraut Singer
Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Robin, Pops, Atrics tambourine player, Salsburg Sauerkraut Singer and British man
Richard Hunt as Statler, Janice, Pair of teeth, Salsburg Sauerkraut Singer and British man
Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Beauregard, Salsburg Sauerkraut Singer and Atrics drummer
Steve Whitmire as Lips and Atrics tuba player
Louise Gold as Atrics guitar player
Kathy Mullen as Atrics knitter
Brian Muehl as the Trombone player and Salsburg Sauerkraut Singer



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